I was thinking that i must be ... aging :S growing older than I'm supposed to be, .... but I realized that it's not about how many years one lives, nor how much experience they have gained, it's all about how willing they were to learn from each and every step in their lives, and how brave they are to accept the fact that they are getting wiser, and they are mentally and internally growing up.
In the way of life, I had so many thoughts ... I could see beyond the front borders of things (Thanks to Allah most gracious, most merciful)
Though I love writing, There were some areas I never tried to step in, and when I couldn't resist my need to write about them, they ended up on a piece of paper with tons of unpublished thoughts. It's just that some times, I'm unable to keep those words to my own self, and I do want to share them with everybody so I might feel that I'm not alone if people believe me, or that I'm absolutely against the entire world if they don't.
One of those areas is "Love" .... the feeling we all seek and seldom find .... the feeling that was forgotten through manipulation (everyone pretends to be in love, and keep saying "I Love You" to everyone else, and never actually felt the real meaning of it !!!) .... have you ever wondered how come we "Love" our families, our friends, our teachers, our houses, or even our pets !!! how come that the feeling towards all those kinds of beings is the same .... "Love" .... If what we feel for every surrounding being is love, then what will it be when we meet our soulmates ?!! ... You will probably say that it would be a different kind of love (we have a separate type of love for each different person, we love our parents different from loving our friends .... we love them in a different way :S !!)
As for me, Love is Love (the feeling that controls you when you find your soulmate) .... what we feel for everything is not described through the word "Love" ... it could be anything else ... something I don't know, but it can't be Love !!
I have always went through the debate of "Why don't you get married ... why don't you just say yes to any of the offers !!!" ... First of all, I cannot accept offers because it's not a job I apply for ... Second, I don't wanna get married to any man ... I wanna get married to my soulmate, ... and only my soulmate.
I once read about the Soulmate concept (That each person has a soulmate, they could be lucky enough to find each other, but yet they may never do :S, and then they will have a choice of two 1- to keep searching until the end ... or 2- to accept the fact that they will never meet, and so, move on, and get married to anyone and live any life "stable, comfortable, but with someone else other than the one who is meant to be by their side")
I think that I'm the first type of those, I want to find my soulmate ... I cannot accept the Idea that a man knocks on our door and asks to marry me only because I meet certain specifications that he has in mind, and that he comes to our home not necessarily to marry "Fadwa" but to marry any girl with the same features, and that if I have a sister he could pick her instead (makes no difference as long as we both meet the user manual's guidelines "or even less" !!!)
I can't imagine my self dealing with some "guy" whom I don't know, and having to force my self to accept him as a husband because he is the perfect man with the perfect specifications as mentioned in the Book of Life !!!! NO, I am not that kind of people !!! I will not condemn myself to the "Marriage Penalty" with someone who is totally a stranger and who is not at all my soulmate. Rather, I would wait for that soulmate no matter how long it might take, even if I will never find him at all.
I appreciate "Love" the feeling i never experienced, but the one that I can expect how it should be ... I appreciate Love in a way that I can never waste it on someone who is not meant to be .. the one.
I have reached the point where I have to make the choice, whether to take one road or the other, and in both cases, I know that there is no coming back. ... and I'm absolutely ready to take my chances in both cases. :)
فدوى نزار
March 29th 2011
7 comments:
First of all I would like to express my admiration for all the previous writings. But unfortunately...i'm totally disagree with this article … I respect your point of view but I think you must reconsider it, to make it simple and to save time I will summarize it into few points and in Arabic
1- انا بكرر اعتذاري تاني علشان اول تعليق ليا بيكون مخالف لرأيك بالدرجة دي.
2- قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : " إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفسادٌ كبير " فقالوا يا رسول الله وإن كان فيه فقال: "إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفسادٌ كبير" قالها ثلاث مرات
3- قوله تعالى::(ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها و جعل بينكم مودة و رحمة)-( الروم-21)
لم يرد الحب في الاية الكريمة ولكن الله عز وجل ذكر المودة والرحمة.
4- قال: ( وَأَنكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ)
I know that those points are not enough to discuss this matter, but this will “for some Where” explain what I want to say
Very interesting to find some people still believe in what is called "Love", the mysterious and the rare currency to find, Let me ask you, Did you read about feeling of love in a scientific way?, How do you know that someone is your soul mate?, do you also have specifications or it is just a feeling you'll find with him?, the last questions, to know your soul mate, would that need some kind of time to deal with him and to know him?, your answers will be another area to ask you about, thanks.
You forgot to reply to this :)
@Mustafa ...
I just saw the comments (both of them) & actually no, i haven't read about it scientifically .. why don't you share a link or something ? I'd be glad to know better and to even know that it has a a scientific side :)
I was asking you :) actually love is my biggest challenge ever, We engineers can handle anything but about love it is not about troubleshooting :D
You think a lot and you can write, What do you think now after writing this article 4 years ago?
My emotions now are directed to a novel I'm writing in English, fantasy type, so I can release this amount of emotions.
it is hard to handle
well, i don't think love has a scientific side. unless u mean hormone changes(like increase in serotonin)for example.
but the act of love itself, is totally an emotional thing. it is sudden, very rare, scary, and you are never prepared for it.
after 4 years i started to believe that it doesn't exist. it is only in fairy tails. perhaps because we currently live in a materialistic world where love cannot win any battle - perhaps my next post will be about this idea, ironically i opened the blog today to write a draft about that -
best of luck with your novel, i never knew you write novels. would be glad to read it one day :) writing truly is the best way to survive emotions.
Love does exist :)
If you can see something, it doesn't mean that things doesn't exist :)
By the way, Fairy tales are real, for example, I am a hero, you can only find someone like me only in novels :D, kidding
I wrote some pages if you're interested to read them, it would be my pleasure, just tell me a way to send you them not in public.
I'll go to read your next blog and to see what kind of attack you would do to our beliefs :)
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