Not the calendar year that starts on Jan. 1st, but my own year that starts on Dec. 17th.
Actually I've had many "awful" events this year (LOL :D), that started in the very first day !!!
But the reason why I still love this year, is that through those so painful events, I have learned so many things in a way that makes me feel 97 instead of 27 ... I can proudly say that I was enriched & enlightened by those life-changing experiments.
I have known who certain people really are, and that i shouldn't ever believe those who try to fake an angel-looking faces while they are devils.
I have realized where exactly I'm standing from other people.
I have recognized that I shouldn't for any reason expect too much from anyone.
I have learned to differentiate between personal & professional relationships (in order not to damage the long lasting personal relationships for the sake of silly, meaningless professional "interests" ).
I have learned that i should always follow my intuition & keep my first impression forever (as it proved to be correct eventually).
I have -unfortunately- realized that in this world, Justice is a virtue that was lost long ago & that your rights will never come back to you "after being raped" unless you fight to retrieve them. (& they may not even come back when you fight but at least you would have done your best & was never negative or silent about them).
I have lived to witness "Truth" being manipulated for nonsense !!! people justifying their unfair acts to be a professional attitude. (how many crimes are committed with the name of professionalism).
I have experienced how to be unable in all measures to hate somebody & instead you unconditionally forgive them & never even regret this.
I was (probably for the first time) able to understand what is meant by (Strong People Forgive & Naive People Forget) ... This year contained some very important days to remember for me.
I have seen my list of priorities with a different perspective, I might not change it, but at least I've recognized the consequences.
I have educated myself to never wait for appreciation from those whose only job is to disappoint others & whose speeches are always meant to be stupidly destructive.
I knew where exactly I'm standing (& I loved this place :) )
I trusted more in myself & started to believe that what happens to me is not "luck" but it's a normal result of me being who I am & who I deserve to be (اللهم لك الحمد . وما بكم من نعمة فمن الله)
I lost a loved one & accepted the fact that people who we love will not last forever & that life is not at all worth being wasted in sadness or regrets (اللهم اغفر له وارحمه وأدخله الجنة هو وجميع موتي المسلمين يا رب العالمين)
I admit that this year was the first one for me to truly learn how to "let go" & be sure that (الله سبحانه وتعالي , الحكم العدل) will never waste my rights nor my efforts. it's just not time yet.
I have gained enough strength to help me take Treacherous stab wounds & smile because they do give me power & that I will never allow them to kill me (it is said that "People who hate you are just your confused admirers who can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you :) " ).
I have been to places I never thought I'll visit & felt that I was sent there for a reason & I believe that I got the message & it's only a matter of time to follow the directions.
I've changed from praying to get my revenge to praying for ALLAH to fill my heart with forgiveness & inspire me to see beyond.
I believe that I started taking things easier than I used to do & I admit that it's far more comforting & relieving.
I started wishing more for ALLAH to lead me to the right direction (اللهم اجعلني من المهتدين)
I know that in certain times I wanted badly to take back some words that i said which i know is impossible & that even if i apologize, this could heal the wound, but will never remove the scars. But eventually i believe that those who i care for that much, will never misjudge me because of some words i said & they will always know who they are for me & that even if i meant those words at certain times, deep inside I know they are not as i said .. so I'm sorry if they ever got 2 read this & I know you can't ever hate me :P :D
finally, i know that my year is not over yet, & I'm not expecting it 2 be any better :D :D but my dear 27th year, I LOVE YOU so much for showing me new things i never knew before & for giving me such opportunities & Experiences
اللهم لك الحمد , وقل ربِّ زِدني علماً
& i still say (& will always keep saying) that i love those who love me as they make life a better place for me to stay & i appreciate those who hate or hurt me because from them i learn so many valuable lessons that participate in building my character & forming my wisdom.
Fadwa Nezar
